Choosing the Dark Side

#78: I Choose Anakin


The Chosen One 

It was a toss-up between heading home and watching Seth Cohen (Adam Brody's character in The OC) sing "California" off-key, AND driving myself to the movie theater after a tiring day to watch Anakin jump over to the dark side. Hmmm.

Thing is, there will always be replays or DVDs of The OC. But you only get one chance to officially be one of the first in the Philippines to watch Star Wars Episode 3. (And yes, watch it with the Ayala family too - owners of everything you see in Makati plus prime patches of land in other places in the Philippines. And oh yeah, the cellphone service provider of almost everyone in the cinema.)

And so I chose the dark side.
(Err, the dark moviehouse over the fluorescent-lit TV room at home.)

It was a premiere sponsored by GenText and having good friends in my previous company ensures that I'm still "one of them" (eyes flashing with blue lightning) or that I, at least, will have a free pass to one of the coolest movies of 2005.

Speaking of eyes, I hated it when Anakin's turned greenish-yellow. So that's what Siths do when they seethe with something seethe-worthy (or Sith-worthy? You choose.) Come on. Why do that to Anakin? This is one good-looking guy we're talking about. (Okay, I hated his hair in the movie. They were not only curly, they were clumpy and stiff. I wanted to give him Cream Silk's Leave-on conditioner but then I'm not sure if that product is still available in the market or if it has suffered the fate of 80% of new products launched - passing over to the dark side of stock returns, write-offs and eventual death.)

Now we jump to the topic of fate. So was it really Anakin's fate to be a Sith? Or to be the uber-Jedi who balances forces? Since he ended up being a Sith, that apparently was his fate, right? But what of the prophecy that he was the one? I was half-expecting Neo to come barging with armalites and what-not because he's the real "Chosen One." (Plus, he had been wearing leather trench coats long before Anakin knew how to buckle his own belt. Now he's doing the all-black leather get-up on top of stealing Neo's title?) What's with that?

And what of the bald black guy? Do all chosen ones have to report to bald black guys? I was bracing myself to walk out should Samuel L. Jackson take out a blue pill and a red pill and start asking Anakin if he was ready to handle the truth.

Apparently, Anakin was ready for it. The Jedi Council was not. With their supposed inclination towards being all-knowing, it makes me wonder why none of them ever encountered any of the old Betamax copies of Episodes 4,5 and 6. I mean, that would've tipped them off big time that their little Anakin from Episode 1 would grow up to be a monster.

Padme was not so glamorous in this Episode either. It seems like getting pregnant has caused her to lose all taste for clothes with color and style. My question is, why couldn't she have discarded her penchant for tights and running instead?

But while the movie raised many silly (but valid) questions in my head, it at least made clear why Jedis (or is Jedi already plural?) can't fall in love (as per Episode 1 and 2). Here's the long and short of it: they're lousy at it. (First they turn evil. Then they turn green. Which girl can take that?) I know I can't. (But then I'm not your regular girl.)

But hey, don't get me wrong. I'll take Hayden Christensen any day.
(Well, maybe not on his bad hair day.)